Last weekend was one of the shittiest weekends in recent memory, but it has tough competition with the weekend of Election Day 2016. That decimated me. This one is a little more focused and very, very personal.
Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?
Shortly after I moved out of my mom’s house and had already been broken up with (The Boy) my Icelandic paramour that has been affectionately mentioned in a few posts over the span of my time on here. I took the initiative and decided to get back out there, as it were. So I signed up for Bumble (the less scary and more substantial version of Tinder) and OkCupid, because I was going all in, I guess.
So, one day I was bored and perusing Bumble for shiggles when I came across a very handsome young man that had just moved to town. We mutually matched and we started to talk, and things were going well so we decided to meet at a local bar for a drink. We met, we talked, it was great. A few days later we decided to go to another place to talk and drink but this time he decided to tell me the reason why he had actually moved up to the city; he was attempted to get over his “insane ex”. As a woman I chose to give her the benefit of the doubt because I feel like insane is hurtful and unless I see it, I probably won’t believe it. A few weeks after that interesting conversation we met up one more time for coffee and a walk around The City Market. While at the coffee shop he would not stop talking about his ex (at this point I was just grinning and bearing it because if you’re on a date with me I want to be one of your main focuses, not your ex). Then again, that’s like Rule #1 of dating anyways. Granted, I’m guilty of it too sometimes, we all are, but when it’s the main conversation topic of several dates the red flags are not only showing they are full on blowing in 45 mph winds. I, however, did not see them or I just chose not to at the time.
Soon after he moved back to his hometown and back to where his ex lives. They apparently rekindled their flame and recently he got into some trouble with the law in an incident involving his ex (are you shocked yet?)
So, last month he sent me a Snapchat message out of the blue after not talking to each other for about a year telling me what had happened etc. etc. So, I tried to lend a sympathetic ear and be there for him because I have a big, dumb heart and I can’t help it sometimes. After a couple weeks of answering late night phone calls from him I decided that I’d take the weekend off and come down to see him because, ya know, going through that stuff alone probably blows so I thought he could use a friendly face.
About last weekend:
I woke up last Friday anxious, excited and ready to go. We were going to make my chicken enchiladas, hang out around town and just focus on things other than his impending fate of felony charges. Or not.
I got there Friday afternoon after almost three hours of driving down some crazy roads ad through some ridiculous parts of Southern Missouri. Example: Humansville and Fair Play along with several massacre sites. I’m still unclear as to whether or not they were Civil War or Indian sites, Either way, *shivers*.
I digress, I got there and we went to get coffee (this guy gets me, right? Wrong. He’s actually trying to dry out because it’s court ordered he is basically a lush). The entire time that I was walking with him he was constantly looking at his phone and the same apps every 5 seconds. I get it, we’re millennials, our phone is to us what handkerchiefs or pocket watches were to our predecessors. I at least have the decency to set my phone in my purse and on silent when I’m engaging with people especially if I’m their host for the weekend.
The next day we woke up and while I thought we would have a full day of eating, hanging out and just having fun. Well, first we went to the Farmers Market downtown and had pasty’s and ginger beer for brunch and while we were there we ran into a couple of friends of his. One of them asked him if this was a date. I looked at him with the same quizzical look, because I wasn’t sure if it was or not too. He gave a wry smile and said, “kind of”. Semi-satisfied the girls walked away after flashing me and him a thumbs up because I was wearing a dress that day and I looked damn good, which they told me before walking away.
Shortly after the semi-awkward interaction we left the Market and headed back to his place but not before driving all over town to show me some houses he used to party in in his college days (insert bored unamused face here). I don’t know, maybe it’s because I don’t drink that often, but that kind of stuff is less than impressive to me.
We got back to his apartment and he proceeded to tell me that 1. he forgot that he had a dinner tonight at his parents house (an hour away). I said, that’s cool I’ll hang out here until you come back. Then, he proceeded to tell me that 2. he was going to spend the night and that basically I needed to go home, but in not as many words. So, I grabbed my bag and packed what little stuff I had packed, he gave me an awkward hug andI headed to my car in a bit of a huff.
I drove for about an hour until I needed gas again. So, before getting back on the road again I did a quick check of social media: Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter etc. I saw that he had a story posted so I immediately clicked on it and he was still at home watching Jurassic Park. It appeared that he had never even left his house at all like he said he would. That ticked me off, so I continued to drive home with a chip on my shoulder.
Finally, I made it home and I text him and tell him that I’d made it, though I don’t really think that he cared in the first place. The next morning I checked my Snapchat again, and he had been watching all of my posts since I had been home, and he posted a story of him walking his dog in the town where he lived. I don’t think that he had even left to “go to his mom’s house for dinner and to spend the night” at all. I know that I sound crazy, but the facts kind of add up.
It’s been four days and I still feel a little jolted from it all. Perhaps it’s because I was blatantly lied to and disrespected and I let myself go through it. After I got home the feel good phone calls at 11pm and random text messages stopped on his side. I also haven’t text him because I think I’d be too filled with rage that I’d just immediately rip into him.
That my friends is my story of how I kind of went on a date with a guy that I didn’t realize was a sociopath until it was too late. How’s that for seeing the forest through the trees?