Outsourcing my Heart

Screen Shot 2016-03-01 at 10.56.24 PMA couple of years ago I jokingly told one of my professors that I was going to have to start expanding my boundaries when it came to finding love because my prospects here in the states were starting to get really bleak.

Well, six months ago something happened. I traveled to Iceland as a part of my second study abroad trip, and one night while randomly browsing Tinder with my roommate just to see how different it was from what I’m used to (gun toters and dead fish wielders) because the Midwest is a weird place, I came upon a match. It wasn’t long after we matched that we started to talk and get to know each other, and we both seemed to click really well. The next and last day of our stay in Iceland, my group was scheduled to go to The Blue Lagoon. Suffice to stay I stayed in the hotel to leech their internet so that I could continue to talk to this intriguing stranger, and I don’t even regret it.

This December, during my winter break I did something that I would consider an achievement and traveled to a foreign country on my own: that country being back to Iceland for a week with him. Though it was a short week, it was also one of the best weeks of my life. I met a good portion of his family, ate some traditional Icelandic food, and got to relax for a while. 

Over the duration of this relationship I’ve been sent articles from various friends and family members about the trials and tribulations that come from being in long distance relationships. While he and I have felt most of the items listed in these articles, we have also seemed to overcome most of them, at least for now. Also, there’s this funny thing called technology which allows he and I to have a better relationship than those ten years ago did that were also in LDR’s. 

Later this summer/end of the semester I’m going to Norway to participate in a four week writing course with one of my professors here at school. While I’m there (the boy) will be coming down from Sweden to meet me and take me out for my birthday and even to meet his parents while I’m there. I gotta say, I’m pretty excited for it too.

Later this month he and I will have been together for seven months and have been talking to each other for almost a year. While to most people this isn’t much of an accomplishment, it is one of my greatest accomplishments since I have been single for the past three years up until meeting him and so far it has been the most rewarding relationships that I’ve ever had, even with 3,000+ miles of ocean and some land between us.

So, yeah, I had to look outside of my own country to find love. But it’s not like it hasn’t been done before. Fate, Destiny or whatever you want to call it has a funny way of making things work out, especially for those that have started to think that they should probably start collecting cats and yarn balls. 


I really know how to pick ’em


So if you’ve been on the internet long enough I’m sure that you have probably heard of the internet dating site, OkCupid. If you haven’t, I’ll just give you a bit of a spoiler alert; it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack  without a book of matches.

So, let’s start this story, shall we?  About a week ago I got a message from this random guy. I only started an account to put my feelers out there, and a lot of good that did because I saw at least 8 people that go to my university on my “matches” roll every time I logged in, which wasn’t that often.  So one day I logged on on a whim, and I see a message from “Smokels”, so I open it and his answer to why we should start talking to each other at all is because “we both live in the same town and we both like when people know how to use grammar properly”. If I had those for my only requirements in a date then I’d be knee deep in the D, but those are not.

What you should probably know by now, if you haven’t already guessed it from my previous posts, is that I’m a serial monogamist. I have trouble with dating unless I know that there is potential for something else that’s possibly long lasting there, if not I run like a cheetah.  If anything the past year and a half of school have taught me a lot more about myself then I previously even knew, and tonight wasn’t any different.

Tonight, I agreed to go on a date with the ellusive ‘Smokels’, we agreed to meet at my school for a Director’s Showcase that a good amount of my friend’s were involved in. So we went when he got off of work, and the whole time he was texting me while I was trying to devote every bit of my attention to the showcase. Some of his texts from the event include, ” I have no imagination” in regards to him returning to school in the future, “That’s cool. This karate man can’t fight a bullet though, lol” in regards to a friend’s video about his good friends who teach Kenpo, which is a form of martial arts. Finally, 20 minutes before the showcase was over I got this gem, “When’s this thing over?”. Okay, first off I understand that not every person is interested in the arts, and that’s cool. To each their own is my motto, but when you go somewhere on a date with a girl you supposedly like, you do NOT talk trash on her friend’s and their passion an hard work, unless you have a death wish or really want a sucker punch to the esophagus.

As a college student as well as a self proclaimed academic  and bibliophile,it is best not to hate on my passions, especially when they’ve already been vehemently expressed. Yeah, Smokels did that too. To say the least this date was one of the worst that I have ever been on. I’ve never wanted to jump out of a moving vehicle more than I did tonight. Yes. I do realize that I may be blowing this way out of proportion and over exaggerating it just a tad because it’s still fresh in my head, but I know what I want and deserve in a man, and Smokels wasn’t even a scratch on the surface. But to be fair, my Facebook status read as follows 2 minutes after I walked into my room.

“I just got back from the worst date of my life. The guy is as deep as a puddle, and he’s got 0 life ambition to boot. Clearly, I am not ready to date again and my life is right on track to accomplish my own goals.”

Upon disabling my account with OkCupid tonight, this was the lovely comment that I left for them;

“I met someone that killed my desire to ever want to date anyone from this website again.”

While the whole idea of Internet dating is the thing for some people, it it no longer for this girl. The sooner you learn this reader, the better off you’ll be.