Feelin’ the Burn

Based on the title you probably thought that this post was going to be about catching an STD or working out and I’m sorry to disappoint you but it’s only about one of those things, kind of.

With the first two weeks of this academic year almost behind me I’d be lying  through my teeth if I told you that I wasn’t stressed out yet. I’m the silly putty that can no longer be stretched, the taffy that is pulled as thin as a wire, the rubber band that can has lost it’s elasticity. I think you get the point.

Image (an approximate picture of how much coffee I’ve ingested so far)

This year I promised myself that I was going to start taking a more proactive approach to my physical fitness. I even dug out my yoga mat and dvd for crying out loud! Yet, I still have yet to actually use it because my schedule is crazy and I haven’t had a second to manage my time properly. So that’s one issue that I will be working on this year for sure.

I digress. So far this semester where I have missed feeling the burn through physical exercise I have been feeling it in my fingertips. I’ve made up for all of that by sacrificing my fingerprints to the coffee gods instead. Yes, I am the sterotypical college student that ingests more coffee than water and still doesn’t ever feel entirely awake. Woe is me. My fingertips have also been in pain because taking notes for five classes is a workout in and of itself.

As the year progresses my major goals are to pass my classes (obviously), start eating better and to start doing more positive things like not drinking as much coffee as I do right now but we’ll see how that goes and to start working out.  So, at least they’re attainable?

Nora Ephron felt bad about her neck, & I feel bad about my anxiety

“I was a little excited but mostly blorft. “Blorft” is an adjective I just made up that means ‘Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.’ I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.”
Tina Fey, Bossypants

I have a problem. I’ll be the first to admit it too. My problem is that I have some major anxiety issues and I take it out (pretty aggressively) on my fingernails. It’s not something that I mean to do, because now it’s just become a habit whenever I’m in a super stressful situation. For example, last week my fingernails were well on their way to growing back, and then I somehow got myself into like eight stressful situations and before I knew it they were gone again.

Last night while tossing and turning in bed I decided that as soon as I can get on some decent healthcare plan that I would go see someone to help me deal with my problem(s). Sure, I could go drink my problems away, but that’s expensive and one of my stressors is my lack of  being able to find a job for the summer. So you see, it’s just one big cycle of excruciating and some times numbing pain that gets taken out on my health and (lack thereof) fingernails. Image

One of the odd things about me though is that when it comes to things like people and being at school, I have noticed that I don’t get as stressed out. For me being at my school, in my dorm room or out with friend’s or even just studying with them relaxes me and even if it’s a stressful semester or it will be I still feel more at ease there then I do at most places.

I wish that I could afford to get more help than I have been getting for my anxiety but mental health seems to be a luxury for the rich right now. But until that day comes I guess I’ll just stick with my methods and prepare for the future because I know that’s going to be stressful.