(Re)-Connecting the Dots

Today I was a lady that brunched. 

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I woke up to a text message from a friend of mine that up until about three months ago I hadn’t talked to or seen in about two years asking if I wanted to meet up with her for coffee and brunch. For about five years she and I used to be the closest of friends. 

Then I got diagnosed with cancer and she got a boyfriend and our friendship slowly started to deteriorate due to our changing lives. Sure, I saw her every now and then when I wasn’t in treatment and she wasn’t with her boyfriend that she is now married to, but it wasn’t like it used to be when we went to community college for a year and then lived together for another year. 

Until today when I saw her for the first time in two years and I realized that even though our lives have significantly changed our friendship still had the ability to pick up almost right where it left off.

It was magnificent!

Most of my previous thoughts about how my married friends avoided us single folks because we make them remember that they can’t go do some of the activites that single people do anymore were actually proven wrong. In our conversation we were careful to stay off of the topic of romantic relationships and marriage as to not make each other uncomfortable or anything. 

As the day continued we went to one of our favorite stores and just walked and talked just like we used to all those wonderful years ago. 

As I was driving to the coffeehouse to meet my friend I listened to this song because even though I wasn’t trying to be pessimestic about the whole thing, I was just trying to think realisticly about it all because it had been so long since we had seen each other. 

To say the least reconnection with lost friends is actually the best thing ever. 

 

 

Beating a Dead Horse. Thanks Twitter.

It has come to my attention that I am apparently against marriage.

I wish I had known this. Instead it was oh so kindly pointed out to me on Twitter from a former coworker.

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I’m well aware of the fact that I am/can be a little judgemental of people at times, but it’s something that I’m working on and being incessantly reminded by people like this is not something I need.

I’m also not unhappy for my friend’s that are gettng married and having babies. In fact, I’m ecstatic for them and the fact that they’ve found someone to share and build

Screen Shot 2013-12-14 at 5.13.41 PM their life with. As for me, I’m not ready for that because I’m working on making myself happy by concentrating on school and eventually my career.

I like to think to myself as an independent person. Yes, I need help as much as the next person every now and then. But when I ask for help, I get it.

Apparently just because I don’t and never really have went with the flow of what everyone else was doing with their lives makes me

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 a bad person. The person also tried to tell me that you only live once. As if I wasn’t already aware, Like, I have scars on my body from taings that almost killed me and I’ve lost more people in my life from a disease that killed at least half of family. I am more than aware that you only live once. 

I’ve covered this topic countless times in this blog, and I thought that the next time I wrote about it again that I’d have a boyfriend or something.

Which brings up another point that this lovely person assumed, “I get a sense that you’re against relationships altogether.” Actually no. I love the idea of a relationship and being equal with someone, but no, I’m definitely not against relationships. I’ve just seen some shitty ones happen to firends and family, so yes, naturally that shit scared me, So, my natural instinct is to avoid it.

Yeah, so it’s been almost been three years since I’ve had a boyfriend, who the fuck cares?

With that I am now going to get off of this stupid soap box and continue to just as they say, “do me”.

Fuck it, let’s get married!

In the grand tradition of growing up it’s no longer a strange thing for us twenty somethings to see our best friend’s from high school and/or college running off to get married or popping out babies at the speed of light. But for some of us, especially people like me, that  tend to accidentally throw our own independence and hopes and dreams into the faces of those that are hitched, it can get a little difficult to bite our tongues and not keep our comments and opinions to ourselves.

Earlier today I went to a friend of mine from high school’s bridal shower. She has a beautiful son, a great future husband (though I’ve yet to meet him), a beautiful house and an amazing and supportive family that is behind her all the way. I would be lying my ass off if I didn’t say that I was a little bit jealous of her in some ways, but all of these good things couldn’t have happened to a more deserving person.

As much as I “hate” on the whole institution of marriage and stuff I’m a total hopeless romantic that probably just has a chip on their shoulder because I haven’t been around a lot of healthy relationships in my 24 years. The evidence is shown in various facets of my life on and off line. For example, my Pinterest account has an entire board dedicated to Love alone. My Tumblr is rife with sentiments about love and a whole lot of literature related things, so clearly it’s something I really want, but it has to be with the right person.

But I digress, maybe I’m just bitter because one of my former best friend’s got married to a guy that rubs me the wrong way and she didn’t care what I thought and decided to marry the jerk anyways, and I wasn’t invited to the wedding. Probably out of fear that when the priest read the line, “if anyone objects to this marriage speak now or forever hold your peace” that I’d be that person that objected. I probably would have for the simple reason that her and I were going to do great things with our lives and not let men/boys get in the way.  Yeah, I’m a bitch. This is probably why I’m still single too. Damn that whole having standards thing!

I really do love my friend’s married, pregnant or otherwise but this whole being patient for a love of my own is making me a little antsy.Apparently the Love Bug is in the area and he hasn’t even come near me.

All I have to say is that whomever is the guy that I’m supposed to be with he better be a good one.