Nora Ephron felt bad about her neck, & I feel bad about my anxiety

“I was a little excited but mostly blorft. “Blorft” is an adjective I just made up that means ‘Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.’ I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.”
Tina Fey, Bossypants

I have a problem. I’ll be the first to admit it too. My problem is that I have some major anxiety issues and I take it out (pretty aggressively) on my fingernails. It’s not something that I mean to do, because now it’s just become a habit whenever I’m in a super stressful situation. For example, last week my fingernails were well on their way to growing back, and then I somehow got myself into like eight stressful situations and before I knew it they were gone again.

Last night while tossing and turning in bed I decided that as soon as I can get on some decent healthcare plan that I would go see someone to help me deal with my problem(s). Sure, I could go drink my problems away, but that’s expensive and one of my stressors is my lack of  being able to find a job for the summer. So you see, it’s just one big cycle of excruciating and some times numbing pain that gets taken out on my health and (lack thereof) fingernails. Image

One of the odd things about me though is that when it comes to things like people and being at school, I have noticed that I don’t get as stressed out. For me being at my school, in my dorm room or out with friend’s or even just studying with them relaxes me and even if it’s a stressful semester or it will be I still feel more at ease there then I do at most places.

I wish that I could afford to get more help than I have been getting for my anxiety but mental health seems to be a luxury for the rich right now. But until that day comes I guess I’ll just stick with my methods and prepare for the future because I know that’s going to be stressful.